Ask the Olympians!
by Werefaerie120
Summary: An ask in for the Olympian gods! Maybe some demigods and a mortal too! Rated t for upcoming language and maybe suggestiveness...idk
1. Send us Letters!

Zeus: Hello, mortals and demigods, and monsters alike! We are now receiving letters to answer for our new show, Ask the Olympians! IT will be held in our throne room every time and it will be *glances at Apollo* Splend-or-iffic?

Apollo: *stage whispers* Great job, Zeus! You said it just how I coached you to!

Ares: After ONLY 300 tries…

Athena: Honestly, why are we doing this?

Poseidon: Because…it will be fun…DUH.

Athena: *snorts* MY idea of fun would be designing a new building!

Aphrodite: Is that why nobody likes you?

Ares: OOH! Burrrrnnn!

Athena: *rolls eyes* Aphrodite… I thought YOU were my friend…

Aphrodite: *looks around to make sure nobody's looking-which they are* Yeah, when nobody else is here!

Hera: Well, I'M still your friend.

Ares: Haha, the queen-

Aphrodite: DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!

Ares: Okay, Queen female dog and the nerd. Ha. Perfect friendship-both unloved.

Hera: Watch your mouth around your mother!

Ares: *meekly* Yes, Mother.

Hermes: Well, the point is, WRITE US LETTERS! I'll deliver them, and you'll get a response!

Apollo: A HAIKU COMES TO MIND!

Artemis: Please, no.

Apollo: Yes!

Write a letter to us

We will answer fast,

'Cause we are gods….

Artemis:…Wow.

Athena: Apollo, 'Cause is not technically a word.

Apollo: ….AND?

Hermes: Just write the letters and we'll answer!

Aphrodite: YAY!


	2. Episode 1: El Pollo

ASK THE OLYMPIANS!

Episode One: El Pollo

Zeus: *clears throat* Hello! This is the first episode of Ask the Olympians!

Athena: *sarcastically* Yay…

Aphrodite: YAY!

Zeus: So Hermes, how many letters?

Hermes: Eh…Five…Six…

Zeus: Hermes, did you have your nectar this morning?

Athena: Father, stop acting like a talk show host.

Apollo: But that was the best part!

Artemis: Apollo!

Apollo: Ookay…sheesh…

Athena: Well, since I have nothing better to do, I'll read the letters.

Poseidon: Oh no, this is going to end up like a lecture…isn't it…

Ares: If it does, we're all gonna shoot Athena with paintball guns. Agreed?

Everybody but Athena: Agreed.

Athena: *dryly* I love you all too.

_Dear Zeus, _

_Why do you screw so many ladies? I bet you don't even love them!_

_Screw you, Zeus. Screw you..._

_I have a statement for Hera._

_I know Zeus is a loser. You should divorce him._

_-SonOfApollo42_

Zeus: *angrily* When I get my lightning on you…

Apollo: Right on, son!

Hera: I should, but I won't. That wouldn't be a good family, would it? And does anybody know how to make people UN loser ish?

Aphrodite: Well…let's see…NO.

Artemis: You're stuck with him for eternity.

Athena: Next letter, people.

_Dear Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera,_

_Who loves Justin Bieber the most and who is willing_

_to kiss him?_

_-Momoloveslife 6__th__-7__th_

Athena: Um…No comments much? NOT ME!

Poseidon: That was a comment.

Athena: Holy Hades, you're a genius.

Poseidon: I know, right?

Athena: *Facepalm*

Hera: He looks like a twelve year old Zeus. NOT ME.

Aphrodite: He's SO cute! I would!

Ares: Heyy!

Aphrodite: Love you too, babe.

Ares: Okay.

Athena: Next…

Dear Ahmazing Olympians,

This a teensie little question for my father Poseidon, and Lady Athena. You

see, I was at camp and my friend Lindsey was telling me this story. It goes on

for a while BUT apparently the two of you are dating...I feel that is a piece

of crap, but if you are, CONGRATULATIONS! Pothena is one of my favorite

couples, you guys tots beat Percabeth, don't tell Percy and Annabeth I said

that...

Love All Of You,

Lizzie

Athena: Waaawww…Poseidon, your kids do have crazy imaginations.

Poseidon: Um, Lizzie, what type of demigod is your friend? That's the real question.

Ares: Well, this is a plot twist. Poseidon being smarter than Athena? Didn't see that coming.

Athena: *red faced* We are NOT dating and we NEVER WILL!

Aphrodite: Well you seemed pre-tty defensive about it…

Athena: URRRHGH! *Drops letters and sits on her throne to sulk*

Hermes: Well, I guess I'll read the next one…this is the last one…wow my count is off…

Dear Apollo,

Did you know there's a Spanish word with your name in it? El Pollo?

(Don't tell him what it means, that's the joke. It means chicken)

-Avatar Azula

Hermes: *only reads question out loud* Hey Apollo?

Apollo: Sup?

Hermes: Did you know that the Spanish named a word after you? El Pollo?

Athena: It's pronounced-*Poseidon claps a hand over her mouth and whispers the joke to her* Never mind.

Apollo: El Pollo! That must mean…I'm an El Pollo! I'm a Pollo! I'm a Pollo!

Artemis: *to readers and letter senders* DON'T TELL HIM!

Zeus: Well, we can end the show for today.

Apollo: I'm a Pollo! Don't forget it!

Zeus:…Oh, we won't. Bye!

Poseidon: See you all next time!


End file.
